The day has just started. How time flies when you are on the net LOL. I woke up early to apply some ginger-lemongrass balm on my scalp, a treatment of sorts, which requires a good 15 minutes to work. But more than 15 minutes have passed already and here i sit in front of Hazel, my laptop(I name her tee-hee), typing away at this blog. Anyways, this won't be long. I would just be sharing two or three videos of my fave tunes that never fail to stimulate me from within.
The first one "A Night in Fairyland" by Narsilions sets my imagination ablaze. Apart from the fact that the artworks here are synonymous to my style, something about this music inspires me every time i listen to it. I want to get back to painting, illustrating,and writing poetry and good creative prose stuff. I seem to have lost the verve or a part of it(I do hope not). But i'm confident that in time i would regain all of it.
The next video is a religious song, a classic and fave of mine, "The Power of Love" by Hillsong. My view of God is somewhat distorted(though not negatively) by scientific views concerning aliens and stuff at this point; however, my belief in His love and everything good stays intact. And really, i can't think of any better way to start the day and keep me protected from the negativity in this world, especially those that could pierce my mind and heart, than to listen to this heavenly song.
The third and last song is Evanescence's "Imaginary the Origin." I love Evanescence. The darkness of their Gothic sound is tamed(though somewhat glomorized) compared to other Goth rock bands i listen to. I can't have them too dark. I may be depressive, but i am a firm believer. I am no longer going to deny my dark side, for it feeds the fire of my talents for both the visual arts and literature. There is no changing the goody-goody part of me, but this time, i would no longer pretend i'm all sugar and sweetness when i actually have a poisonous bite LOL. Why? It is a necessary component of my entirety. In its absence, i wouldn't be me. For me to become me, both Ms.Goody-Two-Shoes and the nameless Little Girl from the Land of Midnight have to be present. Denying either one of them is denying myself. And i would much rather be hated for what i am than loved for what i am not. After all, i'm just like everybody else in this regard. I'm not so bad that i do not deserve to be loved. On the whole, i am really quite nice, and i seriously like myself the way i am. However, i do strive to keep them balanced.
No, i would not let either one of them have full reign, especially the little girl lest she gets too strong and permeate my entirety, that i end up just losing it all and killing myself using a hanger wire, cord or something like that. I may die a million times on the inside, but i would never let myself die of my own hands, literally speaking. I have walked among others a living zombie many times over. After each death, i eventually come back to life again.
Denying my dark side depresses me, too. Why? Like i said, my dark side, that little girl crying silently in the dark recesses of my mind, is the lifeblood of my God-given talents. My real writing and art do not drag people down, but rather reflects them, bringing to light those hidden realities we deliberately shun or turn a blind eye to, but are nonetheless there no matter how hard we deny their existence. Just like a "A Night in Fairyland," "Imaginary" sets my natural artistry on fire--just what i need to get started with a day of non-stop writing.
With the long weekend over, i find myself raring to start the workweek. I am actually excited to get back to work. Would you believe that? Though ridiculous and seemingly incredulous, it is true LOL. I do hope that i do not just get the needed energy and intensity to work on office-related tasks, though, but personal ones too like artworks and stories and poems, which i owe to myself and nobody else.
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